A Country Founded by Geniuses, Now Run by Idiots
Senator John Kennedy, with his Louisiana drawl and dry, homespun wit, once said,
“I believe our country was founded by geniuses but is being run by idiots.”
You don’t have to agree with his politics to appreciate his precision. It’s the kind of line that slices through the fog of bureaucracy like a shrimp boat cutting through bayou mist. The Founding Fathers wrote the Constitution with quills and candlelight, yet 250 years later, we can’t pass a budget without a Twitter meltdown.
Somewhere along the line, intelligence stopped being a virtue — and became an inconvenience.
The Pigs in the Creek
Kennedy puts it best again:
“The water in Washington won’t clear up until you get the pigs out of the creek.”
That’s the kind of line you could embroider on a pillow and sell out at every farmer’s market in America. But it’s more than folksy humor — it’s political physics. Corruption, self-interest, and performative outrage pollute every institution they enter. Washington’s swamp isn’t just metaphorical; it’s an emotional ecosystem where honesty drowns and slogans float.
We’ve created an entire economy around pretense — from the lobbyist who “cares deeply about the environment” while pocketing oil checks, to the senator who rails against social media bias during a live-streamed campaign fundraiser.
The pigs are thriving, and the water isn’t getting any clearer.
(Inspired by the quotes and wit of Senator John Kennedy of Louisiana)
There’s a new kind of intelligence test being administered in America — not one involving numbers, memory, or logic, but something far simpler: the ability to test negative for stupid.
And if we’re being honest, Washington D.C. hasn’t passed it in decades.
“This Is Why the Aliens Won’t Talk to Us”
When Kennedy quipped,
“This is why the aliens won’t talk to us,”
he wasn’t joking — not entirely.
Imagine an extraterrestrial civilization watching C-SPAN. They’d witness an advanced species capable of curing disease, exploring space, and inventing AI — yet incapable of agreeing on how to fix a pothole or balance a budget. From their perspective, humanity looks like a toddler with a smartphone: powerful, noisy, and seconds away from deleting the future by accident.
The aliens probably locked their doors long ago.
Common Sense Is Illegal in Washington
“Common sense is illegal in Washington,” Kennedy says. “I’ve seen it firsthand.”
Indeed, common sense is the one thing the capital has managed to regulate successfully. Every practical solution gets smothered by ideology, procedure, or ego. Suggest simplifying a process, and you’ll be assigned three committees, two task forces, and a public hearing scheduled for 2032.
Washington doesn’t fix problems — it monetizes them.
Every crisis becomes a business model.
Every moral issue becomes a slogan.
Every truth becomes negotiable.
The only real bipartisan agreement left in Washington is that nothing gets done without a press release.
The Art of Saying What Everyone Thinks
Kennedy’s appeal isn’t in his policies — it’s in his authenticity.
In an age where politicians sound like chatbots, he sounds like your uncle at the barbecue — the one with a beer in one hand and a punchline in the other.
“Always be yourself,” he says, “unless you suck.”
That might be the most useful advice any politician has ever given. It’s the antidote to political correctness and the inflated self-importance of a culture where everyone’s an expert but no one listens.
Washington has mastered the art of talking without saying anything. Kennedy, on the other hand, uses humor to expose that emptiness. His jokes hit because they’re not just funny — they’re true.
Follow Your Heart, but Take Your Brain With You
One of Kennedy’s sharpest lines goes:
“Always follow your heart… but take your brain with you.”
In a world driven by outrage, algorithms, and emotional manipulation, that’s revolutionary advice. The modern politician doesn’t appeal to reason — they appeal to adrenaline. “Think later” has become the campaign strategy of the century.
The truth is, emotions win elections, but logic builds nations. We’ve forgotten that difference. And Washington, eternally chasing the next headline, keeps mistaking noise for leadership.
Testing negative for stupid means being able to feel deeply without thinking shallowly. It means understanding that compassion without logic leads to chaos — and logic without compassion leads to cruelty.
The Political Circus: A Reality Show Without the Talent
Washington has become the world’s longest-running reality show — “Keeping Up with the Congress.”
Scandals, hearings, leaks, and photo ops; it’s a performance ecosystem powered by outrage and hashtags.
Kennedy’s humor works because he treats the absurdity of it all as a given. He knows you can’t fix stupid, but you can expose it with a smile.
“I have the right to remain silent,” he says, “but not the ability.”
That’s the voice of a man who knows that honesty in politics is a form of rebellion.
Today, the average senator spends more time on social media than on legislation. They measure success in likes, not laws. In that sense, stupidity isn’t a glitch — it’s a feature. A soundbite will always outperform a solution.
The Pandemic of Performative Intelligence
Washington is full of people who tested positive for “credentialed stupidity.”
They have degrees, titles, and committees — but no curiosity. They know how to win debates, not arguments. They can quote data but not wisdom.
Testing negative for stupid doesn’t mean being smarter than everyone else. It means having humility — knowing the limits of your own mind. But humility doesn’t sell in Washington. Arrogance does. And nothing spreads faster than the kind that wears a suit and calls itself an expert.
“If you trust government,” Kennedy says, “you obviously failed history class.”
That line isn’t cynicism — it’s context. The American experiment was built on mistrust of concentrated power. And yet, we’ve built a political system that rewards obedience over originality.
Testing negative for stupid might just start with a little historical literacy.
Louisiana Wisdom vs. D.C. Kool-Aid
Kennedy’s humor carries the flavor of Louisiana — equal parts sweetness and sting. He speaks like a man who’s spent more time with real people than press releases. And that’s what makes him dangerous to the establishment: he sounds like he means it.
When he says,
“I’m not going to bubble-wrap it,”
you believe him.
He doesn’t sugarcoat the rot. He exposes it — with style. And maybe that’s why his words resonate so widely: because Americans are starved for truth with humor.
If laughter is a sign of intelligence, then John Kennedy might just be the smartest man in Congress.
The Kennedy Doctrine of Clarity
Let’s decode his philosophy:
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Be clear, not clever.
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Be honest, not polished.
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Be funny, but never fake.
Testing negative for stupid, according to Kennedy, is simple: Think before you talk. Learn before you lead. Listen before you legislate.
He turns common sense into an act of rebellion — because in D.C., it is.
The Final Diagnosis
If America truly wanted to test negative for stupid, it would start with a few basic reforms:
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Ban soundbites shorter than five words.
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Replace campaign ads with logic tests.
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Require every elected official to work one week in a grocery store.
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Limit the number of selfies per senator.
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And most importantly, make humility fashionable again.
Until then, the pigs will stay in the creek, the water will stay muddy, and the aliens will keep ignoring our calls.
The Closing Prescription
To test negative for stupid, you don’t need a Ph.D. You just need the courage to admit when you’re wrong — and the wisdom to laugh about it.
As Kennedy might say,
“Always be yourself. Unless you suck.”
It’s simple, timeless advice — and perhaps the only campaign slogan that still makes sense.
By Chris...